How to Help Someone with Gambling Problems

When someone you love has a gambling problem, it can be difficult to watch them struggle. While it might seem easy to you for them to simply quit, the reality is that deep-rooted addiction is far more than a simple choice.

If your friend or family member has a gambling problem, you can help them by listening, discussing solutions with them, and taking care of yourself. Read on to learn more ways to help someone who has a gambling problem.

1. Listen

One of the best ways to help anyone in this life is to listen to them talk. Even outside of someone struggling with an addiction, it’s important that you take the time to become a good listener.

Unfortunately, we often listen to someone talk, halfheartedly, as we are mentally preparing our response while they are speaking. Don’t do this. Instead, focus on just listening, interjecting with “mhm” or “yes” or “I understand” so they know you are engaged. Then, once they finish, don’t be afraid to leave a pause for a moment as you gather your response.

Humans have an innate need to feel they are understood, and listening to them speak is one of the many ways to start this process. For more help learning how to listen, we recommend reading the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

2. Discuss Solutions With Them

We aren’t sure why humans do this, but often when they, or a friend of theirs, is experiencing a problem, they avoid discussing it. This often can make them feel worse, as it breeds feelings of shame and discontent. Whatever you do, don’t shy away from discussing gambling with them.

Of course, we do recommend keeping your discussions focused on the situation at hand. This is not the time to brag about the last time you went gambling on a recent win. Instead, let them know how their gambling has hurt you and that you are here to help them in any way you can.

We do recommend looking up possible solutions in advance, so you can have something to contribute to the conversation when it comes up. That being said, do not force your solutions on them. If they have already thought of some, focus on that, and how you can offer your assistance.

3. Take Care Of Yourself

It sounds stupid, but many people lose themselves and their own health when they dive headfirst into helping a partner or parent with their addiction. Although you should offer to help, it is also important to establish boundaries so you can take care of yourself.

For example, you may find they are asking you to spend time with them every day, and as a result, you are neglecting your own life. Don’t be afraid to let them know that you need a day or two to yourself or that you need a small break. If you are worried about what they will do when you turn them down, see if you can enlist the help of another onboard family member or friend, or find a local support group where they can meet new people who have a similar mindset.

Remember, you can’t continue to help them while you are struggling yourself. So, take care of yourself—it’s really the best thing for both of you.

4. Be Kind and Forgiving

Overcoming addiction doesn’t happen overnight, and it often doesn’t happen in one “go.” It’s important to treat them with kindness through the process and be forgiving when they make mistakes.

However, if they continually make mistakes, sliding back into gambling week after week and month after month, it may be time to admit that you aren’t able to help them to the extent you want. Still, speak kindly with them, and let them know that you can’t help them on your own and that it may be time for professional help. Some addictions require more help than others to break.

5. Celebrate Progress

So many adults forget to celebrate the small things in life, which can make life feel long, boring, and like you aren’t going anywhere. These feelings are often amplified when people have to step away from gambling due to an addiction.

Gambling boosts serotonin and can lead to feelings of euphoria, which a gambler can feel empty without when their favorite activity is suddenly snatched away. This can lead to sadness, depression, or worse.

Celebrating the small milestones can make the person feel special and have them looking forward to their own progress. And these celebrations don’t have to be big—they can be small things like a cupcake, favorite soda, or even a visit to a favorite location (that’s not a casino). Celebrate one week, two weeks, and so on, and soon you’ll notice them looking forward to the celebration more than the gambling.

6. Suggest Alternate Activities

One of the major issues with a gambling addiction is that the individual suffering usually spends a large portion of their time gambling. This can leave them struggling to fill their time as they fight the addiction. With nothing to occupy their mind, they may find themselves tempted to gamble again.

So don’t just sit with them on the couch; suggest new non-gambling things to do together. We recommend looking into community service options, as well as activities around town. Because gambling addicts are typically in debt, try to look for free activities or those with very little overhead, such as joining a puzzle club or Wii bowling league. You can also consider sports like basketball or tennis if your friend enjoys doing something active.

7. Just Be There

Overall, breaking a gambling addiction is a challenge, and just your presence alone is likely a huge help and a step in the right direction for them. Not only does it help them feel less alone, but it can help them to find purpose outside of gambling—something they probably haven’t had in a long time. And remember, a simple hug can go a long way toward helping people heal.